The Here and Now

Anya is currently crawling all over the great room floor!  Just last week she crawled for the first time.  She seemed so content to just sit, but now she is all over the place!  She has actually begun to pull herself up on objects within her reach.  Stools, coffee tables, chests…anything.  In fact, as we speak, she is so sweetly resting on the chest this computer rests on.  Does she want to play with her baby toys?  Nope!  Computer, computer wires, the mouse, stools that can tip over on her…anything she shouldn’t be playing with is what she wants to play with!  What am I to do?  I have a two-year old and an 8 month old.  Call me crazy.  I love my children though.  Their little lives fill mine with such joy.  As tired and busy and frazzled as I can get I wouldn’t trade anything for them.

So Anya is 8 months.  Like I said she started crawling last week.  She makes lots of glutteral noises and likes to growl and grunt.  Sometimes I wonder if she is going to go up to be our daddy’s girl.  August is my mountain man.  My rugby player.  My Rover driver.  Will she take after daddy?  Part of me hopes so.  In this day and age women need to be defensive and assertive.  I want her to stand up for herself!  So what else?  Anya does not like me to feed her.  I’m beginning to wonder if she would just be happier feeding herself.  Perhaps she is ready for small cut up pieces of banana and Cheerios!   She is not a snuggly baby either.  She likes to get up early and even if I try to nurse her in bed to put her back to sleep she will not.  Instead, she rolls around and tries to climb all over me.  Haha!  Oh my life.  She does not sleep very good still but the past few nights have been wonderful.  She has slept from about 7:30 to 6:00.  Still not 12 hours like I would like her to be sleeping but I’m happy she’s not waking in the middle of the  night to feed!!  I just hope she will start sleeping like this permanently!  I am still just amazed at how quickly life flies by.  As hard as her infancy has been I try to remind myself to savor and cherish these times because it won’t be long before she too is a toddler running around and growing up.

I feel somewhat happy that I am not pregnant yet.  With Grace, I became pregnant with Anya when she was only 7 months old.  I do hope to wait several years just so I can really focus my attention on my girls for now.  I feel that my hands are full and having another baby, however joyful it would be, would push me to the max!  Also, we still are living in our tiny apartment.  We have absolutely no room to breath in here.  I am forever hopeful that someday soon we will be able to move out of here to another place with my space…maybe even buy our first house.

Speaking of first houses, there is a beautiful piece of property for sale just a few miles down the road.  It is absolutely gorgeous.  An open field full of tall, wispy green grass takes you all the way to the river.  At 17 acres there is lots of space and although there are neighbors, you don’t really notice them.  I would love that.  Mountains fill your view whether you face east or west.  What a peaceful way to spend your mornings and evenings.  Morning coffee watching the sun come up over the mountains and an evening cup of tea as you watch the sun set over the mountains.  I wish I wish I wish I wish!!  Anyways, so I keep dreaming.  Perhaps it is good to dream.  It gives you something to hope for.  We need hope in our lives!

Well fellow readers my toddler is awake so my morning session of writing must end.  Thus begins another day!  Perhaps a visit to see grandma will be in order.  Perhaps play time at the park.  Whatever we do I want to do all with the Joy of the Lord in mind.  He has blessed me with this life and I want  every minute of it.  Who cares how poor we are.  We have each other and I know I belong to my Savior who took my place on the cross where I should have been.

Peace be with you!

Hopeful mother.


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