August begins his driver position in Fredericksburg this week. He left yesterday around 1:30 because his hotel check in was at 3:00pm. I can’t say just how much I miss him already! Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers. It is lonely for me not having him around all week and we will go through this for the next four weeks only seeing each other on the weekends. I just pray that at the end of this four-week period UPS will bless us with a full-time position for him. I hold on to the peace that only Christ can give and I trust in His provision for our lives regardless of whether or not I am happy or sad. I trust that I am held by my Father and that someday soon he will bring us to the place that He has been preparing for us all along. Yet, I am human and I am certainly subjected to human emotions like sadness and despair. The sinner in me wants to say: God won’t provide. He’ll make you suffer. You’ll never succeed! But, I am grateful that God has broken that sinner several times and that I can look back in my past and see all of the ways that God has provided for me and come through for me before. Though I despair in my flesh I have hope. That hope does not disappoint. If I could encourage someone going through a similar struggle this is what I would tell them. I would say to let yourself express how you feel. If you are angry, tell God about it. If you are disappointed, let yourself express that disappointment. It is good to vent and to acknowledge that what you feel is real. I think it is more harmful to bottle up those thoughts and feelings. God is good and He is gentle when we lay down our burdens with Him. My sweet mother will always tell me to envision those thoughts as a sacrifice that I am bringing to the altar. Once laid down on the altar it is killed and only God can deal with it once it is killed. That way we truly leave our burdens with Christ and we put all responsibility in His hands. If I could encourage someone going through this I would say once you’ve gotten those feelings out and laid them before God, just trust in His provision. Trust that the way He will choose to bless you is unlike anything we would do for ourselves and because of that the blessing will be all the more rich and rewarding. God uses trials to draw us to himself. He uses them to teach us that in and of ourselves is no salvation. We can not help ourselves. We are dependent on Him. Those trials are beautiful because if surrendered the heart becomes clean…we enter into sweeter fellowship with our LORD. There is nothing more powerful than a surrendered heart in the hands of God. So, I hope that in my struggle I have encouraged someone along the way. I am not perfect. I do not have it all together. My natural man is a yucky thing and my heart is deceitful and arrogant. I am so very thankful that God has defeated that natural man. I now share fellowship with God. Where once I was destined for destruction now I am destined for life. I try to continually remember to not lean on my own understanding. I want to acknowledge Him in all my ways so that He may direct my ways. I may have plans for my own life but is God who will direct my steps. So with August’s very noticed absence I will cling to my Father. I will confide in Him. I will be open with Him. I will let myself be taught by Him through this experience. He is my hope and my salvation!